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Well, it's New Year's Eve day and January 2006 is just about to gasp its first breath. Will 2006 be better or worst than 2005? It seems to me that the older I get the more I am realizing that the goodness or badness of a year has more to do with my attitude than my circumstances.
Still, who doesn't like to speculate on what might come our way in the New Year? What will be our kicks in 2006? Well, I have put on my thinking cap, and without the aid of any crystal balls or mediums (or larges, for that matter), I have come up with the January 2006 Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten, which is:
“My Top Ten Predictions for 2006”
- Catered food fights will become big business with the opening of a new restaurant chain, "Gastronomical Gladiators." Chefs will become famous, not only for the taste of their food, but also its stickablity.
- A universal pet interpreter will enable dogs and cats to speak to their owners for the very first time. People will be shocked to find out that dogs really aren't man's best friend. Cats will be able to ignore their owners in five different languages.
- A huge solar storm will wipe out all cell phone communication. After a period of cataclysmic panic, many will actually start to talk to the people they are with.
- Cashing in on the graying baby boomer population, Disney will open a new 60's theme park/old age home. The Rolling Stones will be the first featured act/tenants.
- Tom Cruise will be recognized as an expert in everything except his own life.
- Fears of the outbreak of the Asian Bird Flu will be unfounded in 2006. On the other hand, the Siberian Ferret Flu will break out; killing the world's entire population of lawyers.
- "Running for Parliament", the newest Canadian Reality Show based on honesty in politics, will be short-lived due to a lack of contestants.
- English will continue to change radically with the use of the Internet. Within a decade emoticon will take over as the new international language of choice.
- Microsoft will single-handedly solve the energy crisis by producing cars that crash immediately upon leaving the lot.
- And the number one
prediction for 2006 is: - Jesus will continue to be the answer for all those who ask the right question.
Thanks to Geoff Clarke for help with this one.
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment of any of the topics presented.