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Welcome to Grant's Heavenly Top Ten. Before we get on with the Top Ten, I want you to know that this edition has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a preacher, and I'm looking forward to my vacation in August. Now pass the bug juice, a tall lemonade and get out of my way because the July Edition of the Heavenly Top Ten is the:
“Top Ten Signs Your Preacher Needs A Vacation”
- You caught him snoring during the service while he was leading the congregational prayer
- The last ten sermons had "rest" in the title!
- The closing hymn for the last three weeks has been, "I'll Fly Away"!
- In the group pre-marital counselling class, he's spent more time discussing honeymoon destinations than anything else!
- You heard him mutter something about bell towers, postal employees and an Uzi during the Children's Moment!
- At last weekend's service he showed up in a Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts!
- At the last few baptisms, he held the people under too long. His excuse — "I like to see the bubbles" has you worried!
- Before the last board meeting, holiday brochures of exotic getaways were placed on each seat!
- The preacher's wife has posted a picture of him with the caption: "Have You Seen This Man?" all over the neighborhood!
- And the number one sign your preacher needs a vacation is:
- The theme of his Jonah sermon was — "A Change Of Scenery Does A Body Good!"
The Heavenly Top Ten is intended to be a fun look at
issues of faith and fellowship. It should not be considered a serious treatment
of
any of the topics presented.