PASSAGES
Passages, that's what I call those milestone moments that mark key stops along life's highway. This past weekend was another passage for me.
It all started as I took a vanload of senior high youth to a youth conference in Prince Edward Island. The speaker was excellent, the worship was amazing, and everything about the weekend was wonderful. The youth and I were both encouraged and challenged by God during the weekend, but that's not what made the weekend a "passage" for me. What made this past weekend a passage was the presence of my son, John.
I was able to get John in the back door of the youth conference, even though he wasn't old enough to attend, because Sheila and I were in a bit of a bind. Sheila had to attend a ladies' retreat at the same time I was away at this youth conference, so I had to try and lessen her load by taking one of our boys. Praise God that the powers that be at the youth conference pitied our plight and allowed John to tag along as my shadow.
To be honest, I was more than a little excited at the prospect of spending some quality time with John. I was also a bit curious as to how he was going to respond to the youth conference — after all, this was his first one. Well, I am happy to report that John loved it! Not only did he have a good time with dear old dad; more importantly, he had a great time with Jesus.
I have never seen John through these worship-colored glasses before. In our regular church worship services, John is what I perceive as "politely attentive", but at the youth conference he was an animated, involved worshiper. He sang from the heart. He praised God. He listened intently to the messages. He searched the Scriptures during the workshops, and when we had a group discussion time with the rest of the youth, he more than held his own. Not bad for an eleven-year-old going on forty!
It was a really amazing experience for me because not only was I watching my son connect with God, I was also a fellow worshiper as we both bowed before our Lord and Savior. For a time we were no longer father and son. We were something even more fundamental than that. We were worshippers caught in power and the majesty of the moment!
The feeling this brought to my heart is hard to put into words, but let me try. Instead of me seeing myself as John's father, I saw us both as children of God, focused on our Heavenly Father. I saw John as a spiritual entity alive and vital outside of his relationship to me. In my eyes for the first time, my son was on an independent quest to seek God's face. He is still my son, but now more than ever, we are both co-heirs with Christ. What a wonderful feeling it is to see the familiar hunger I have displayed in the heart of my son. This passage makes John a little less mine and a little more God's.
Now, you might think such a revelation would be a bittersweet moment, but it really wasn't. Oh, there were a few silent tears during the weekend, but they had nothing to do with sorrow, or letting go. They were tears of joy, tears of praise, tears of thanksgiving to the God who holds both our hearts in His hand.
You see, the way I look at it, I will only be John's father for as long as he walks around this world in his tent of flesh, but when it's time for him to move into his permanent dwelling with God, we will be eternal neighbors, co-laborers, worshipers. So, this past weekend I caught a glimpse of eternity in the eyes of an eleven-old worshiper, who just happens to also be my precious son.
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