WHY?
Why? It's the first question we learn, and often the last question we ask. Our lives are full of "whys". From the inquisitive "whys" in toddlerhood to the more rebellious "whys" of youth - we never seem to grow tired of asking this three letter question.
"Why?" covers the entire scope of human observation and emotion. Some "whys" are simple questions, "Why is the sky blue?" while other "whys" are judicial in nature, "Why do I have to go to bed before my brother?" Then there are the other kind of "whys". These "whys" are the kind of "whys" that shake up our world and leave us with eyes open long past the time we've turned off our bedroom lights. These "whys" often speak to questions that really have no answers. This Summer, while we were in Toronto, the entire city was asking one of these "whys".
Suzanne was a beautiful young woman from a respected Toronto family. She was also a Doctor with a prosperous career, a loving husband and a beautiful home. Recently, she had taken some time off to enjoy Cuyler, her new baby boy. To her family, her co-workers, and her neighbors, she and her family had it all. There were no looming bills, no dark secrets, nothing that would suggest the slightest problem. But, on August 11th she drove her Mercedes SUV to a nearby subway station and took her six-month old boy with her into the subway. As one of the early morning trains approached the station, she clutched her baby tight to her bosom, and threw herself into its oncoming path. The baby was killed instantly, and she suffered injuries that took her life a week later. Why?
The city asked this very question over and over as investigators, friends and family tried to find an answer. No answer was found. The only possible suggestion anyone could offer was that perhaps she was suffering from post-partum depression, even though she showed no obvious signs of such a condition. I am certainly not qualified to discount that possibility, but I wonder if such a suggestion was only an uncomfortable grasping for straws.
When someone takes his or her own life, we like to think that there is an obvious answer. "Oh, she was always unstable." Or, "He was abusive for years." After all, people who take their own lives, have to have lives that aren't worth living, right? People who take their own lives have to be in some kind of a desperate situation, right? In the very least, people who take their own lives have to be weak, or unable to cope. Normal, well-educated, wealthy people from loving families don't kill themselves and their babies. It just wouldn't happen! Something somewhere had to be broken.
But the question I ask in return is: what if some normal people do kill themselves, or at least, what if they did in this particular case? What if Suzanne had everything and she still killed herself? What if she had everything we're still hoping to have and it wasn't enough to make her want to continue to live? I can hear the chorus out there in Whatchaland already — "Grant, don't go there!" Sorry, but I think we need to go there because this is an issue we all have to face and the sooner we face it the better. What is it that makes life worth living?
We are so conditioned to run after the goals of success, security, and satisfaction as the world dictates them, that we hardly ever pause to evaluate their worth. Luckily, the goals are usually difficult enough that most of us continue to strive for them throughout our lives. This is a safe place to be because if we are dissatisfied, or unhappy for one reason or another, we have an excuse — we haven't made it yet. All we need do is climb up another rung or two and the altitude of our new level of success surely will make us giddy. But what happens to those poor unfortunate souls who climb to the top and still aren't satisfied? To find out that the goals you set for yourself don't mean anything when you reach them is a bitter pill to swallow, don't you think? It kind of makes you wonder if running after these things makes any sense at all! I mean, if worldly success doesn't satisfy, then why bother?
When I start to think of all the "whys" that seem to have no answer, eventually I always return to the one "why" for which I do have an answer. To me this is the most important "why". I figure if I can answer this "why" all the other "whys" aren't worth sweating over. Are you ready for the biggest "why" of them all? Why did Jesus give his life upon the cross? He did it because "God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16) I believe in Jesus. I believe He is the Son of God. I believe He died for my sins. I believe He did it because He loves me. Somehow, with that "why" answered, all the other "whys" of life are a whole lot easier to file away in my own personal x-files. But, if I didn't have that "why" answered . . . let's not go there!
I have one major goal in life — to love as I have already been loved. It's a worthy goal that brings a lot of happiness. It's also a goal that I have no fear in reaching in this life. But it keeps me moving forward; and it keeps me hoping — what about you? Have you given your life to Jesus? Have you been enveloped in this "to die for" love? If not, "why?"
If you have any thoughts or questions, please write me by clicking on my name at the bottom of this page.
