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SAFE PLACES
Our family just got back from the Ontario Christian Conference. It was held at the rather posh White Oaks Resort in Niagara on the Lake. Never have I been in a more beautifully appointed or run facility. To be honest with you, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I wasn't used to being at the receiving end of the stack of service and swank that came my way, but, somehow, over the course of the weekend, I was able to adapt and started enjoying sitting on the lap of Daddy Luxury.
My old friend, Jim Dewar, was the conference speaker and that made things particularly special. We don't get to see Jim and Kim Dewar very often, so when our families get together I have more fun than a person can stand. Jim is a one-man carnival, a fun-house of friendship.
Then there were the added bonuses of challenging messages and worship times that were knee-bending and heart-filling. The fellowship was fantastic. The food was too-much and too-good. But, all this aside, one of the things that I cherished the most this weekend was the freedom our boys enjoyed.
Of course we all stayed in the same room and eye-balled each other from time to time, but for the most part, our kids were with their friends doing the youth activities. They worshipped together, played together, hung together, ate together, went swimming, laughed, wandered around and basically enjoyed having a good time on their own.
Our boys had freedom. We, as parents, had piece of mind. How did this all come about? It was because we were in a safe, secure, protected place. We knew that our boys couldn't travel too far and we knew they were in good company.
It was especially fun to watch our youngest boys, David and Graham, during the weekend. At first they kept coming back to us and checking in. They seemed a bit lost and uncomfortable with their freedom, but after awhile, they were fully enjoying their independence. They felt safe.
You've probably heard about the study sociologists did years ago when they watched the behavior of children on a school play ground? They first studied the children's behavior with no fence around the playground and then they studied the children's behavior after they had enclosed the playground.
What they found was that the kids tended to play in the middle of the playground when it wasn't fenced in, but then after the fence was installed, the kids migrated to the furthest reaches of the playground's nether regions. In other words, they took advantage of all the free space they were given. It seems that the fence gave them the protection and security they needed to explore their little recess world. With no boundaries, things weren't safe enough. There were too many dangers, too many uncertainties, too many unknowns.
Boundaries don't restrict our freedom; nor do they keep us from finding our true potential. Boundaries create a wonderfully safe environment in which to grow and develop and explore.
How many boundaries do you place on your kids? How much freedom?
I remember envying a friend whom I had when I was around eight-years-old. He could stay out all day and all night, if he wanted. He never had to check in with his parents. He always had money. There didn't seem to be any restrictions on his life at all! At least that's how it looked to me at the time. So, I never could figure out why he wanted to spend more time at my house than he did in his own. Now I know that he was just looking for someone to love him like a parent should. He was looking for someone who cared enough to put some boundaries up.
Often we think of God's Word as restrictive and that the Christian life is outdated and old fashioned. We think that God wants to make sure that we don't have any fun or freedom. We hate the boundaries God seems to place on our lives, but boundaries don't limit us, they give us freedom. They provide us the safety we need to really grow and live.
Of course satan doesn't want us to understand about boundaries and safe places. He'd much rather we jump the fence and start playing in his backyard, but his backyard is full of traps and snares - all disguised as freedom. It's all a lie.
When was the last time you looked at God's Word as a loving boundary of safety?
One last thought on boundaries. Boundaries need to be fences, not prisons.
They need to be designed to keep us safe from the dangers outside, not to keep us away from the love and fellowship within. Some churches lack the love and the acceptance and freedom to establish a place where people feel safe. Cold hearts and judgmental spirits sometimes create a restricted-dark-world that God never intended or desired. So people don't grow and they don't play well together.
Jesus describes himself as the gate into the kind of playground God has intended for us:
"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:9-10)
The boundaries Jesus gives us bring us full life. Just as coloring within the lines makes a beautiful picture, living within the boundaries makes a beautiful life.
If you have any comments or questions, click on my name at the bottom of this page and send me an e-mail. I promise to write back.
