“What happened next totally surprised me. An uncontrollable emotion from the core of my being began to rise.”
I love to go for a prayer walk Sunday mornings before church. There is a peace and quiet on the Sunday morning streets that resonates with my soul. Yesterday morning was a particularly beautiful November morning — blue sky, warm air and a sense of freshness in the air. As I was walking towards the intersection of our avenue and Keele Street, I saw a policeman on a motorcycle. I turned the corner and saw another policeman positioned on the other side of Keele. My first reaction was that they were trying to catch someone or that something bad had happened. I checked my pocket for my keys and thought "Yes I did lock the doors". I was concerned because the boys were still in bed. As I rounded the corner and peered up Keele I saw that there was a wide load coming my way. I continued to walk backwards watching and I ended up walking into a hydro pole.
I glanced towards the policeman to see if he noticed and he had—oh well! Do you ever feel like you are in a Laurel and Hardy skit? Sometimes when I'm at the checkout in the grocery store the cashier must think I'm nuts as I scramble around, fumbling for money and debit cards and drop things on the floor.
Anyhow, when the wide load went by I saw that it was a float. I can't remember the first float but the next one was a giant turkey. One by one they went by -Thomas the Tank Engine, Cinderella, Mother Goose, Clifford and so on. They were making their way to Bloor and Christie for the commencement of the Santa Claus parade. It had been so long since I witnessed a parade I had forgotten how immense the floats are. It really takes your breath away.
What happened next totally surprised me. An uncontrollable emotion from the core of my being began to rise. I didn't just get choked up; I was flooded with tears and couldn't stop. (I thought I was having another menopausal moment.) I questioned my reaction because I wasn't a huge fan of Santa Claus and that whole aspect of Christmas. But what I realized was that something good was happening - not some criminal act. I was stopped in my tracks and decided to seize the moment. I'm not sure if all of the floats went by, but a fair number did. I saw the second last float, Santa's workshop, and the last float— Santa Claus (the one my niece, Kaitlin, was an elf on). Santa was sitting on top, partially in uniform, and I had the compulsion to wave at him and he waved back. It was so amazing because I got to have an almost private viewing of the Santa Claus parade. There were only a few passersby on the street and they were all reflecting the joy of the moment as well. As it disappeared from my vantage point, I was a little sad that it was over.
After the parade was gone I felt God was trying to tell me something because of my emotional reaction. I realized some of it would have been nostalgia, because as a child we did go downtown to see the parade a couple of times. However, because of the crowds we would go to my grandmothers instead (which was kind of like going downtown) and watch it on TV accompanied by Cheezies and Wink (we always had Cheezies and Wink at Grandma's).
During the rest of my prayer walk I questioned God about the experience. What I believe He was trying to tell me was that my mind has been too focused on my minor physical ailments for the last 6 months. As each ailment came up and I went for tests, I kept thinking that this is going to be the one, the one that they would find something terribly wrong. (Have you ever seen Woody Allen in Hannah and Her Sisters when he thought he had a brain tumour)? As a result, I started living with this black cloud of dread surrounding me. I felt this same ominous dread when I first saw the police and thought that something awful was happening. But, then I saw it was a parade, a joyful event! I felt that black cloud dissipate to reveal a glorious moment of sunshine. God was trying to tell me that I've been so caught up in all my problems that I'm missing the boat (or float). I had been struggling and fearing when I should have been trusting and resting in Him.
Jesus said: "Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:29-30, MSG)
Being in God's rest is one of the greatest gifts of Christmas, but God reminded me this morning that like any other gift from God, we have to unwrap it by faith.
Sheila is the best thing that ever happened to Grant (outside of Jesus)!