“This has been a particularly "painful" year. By painful, I mean growing pains.”
I don't know about you, but I love gazing at a Christmas tree with all its trimmings and lights. I could spend hours doing that if I had time. The only other thing that compares, would be staring at a campfire, or sitting by the seaside watching the waves roll in. There is something very peaceful about it. Like music or photographs, it brings back fond memories.
I have been waking up fairly early in the morning lately. In the beginning I minded getting out of the warm bed into the dark cold, but now it's a bit easier. The first thing I do is turn on the Christmas lights on the tree. Then, I make my decaf (I know disgusting eh?) and stare at the tree in the quiet of the morning. It is really a special time with God.
Since it is the end of the year, I meditate on all the events of the past year. This has been a particularly "painful" year. By painful, I mean growing pains. I asked God to draw me closer to Him, and His way of doing that was to walk me, step by step, through some of my fears.... and there are many.... sickness (mental and physical), moving our family by changing pastorates, purchasing our first home, the boys adjustment to urban life, September 11th and its associated fears, and mice (for those of you who don't know me.... yes, mice terrify me). AND, in case I didn't get it the first time, He walked me through some of the same fears again. As a result, God has molded me more into what He wants me to be. I realize, however, that He is not done pruning me, but He has made me a little stronger by facing my many weaknesses.
In this early time in the morning, I pray to Him and reflect on all the wonderful things He has done for us. It is truly a wonderful time, before the busyness of the day begins by waking up the boys. Don't you find that it's hard to spend time with God during this time of year? I'm sure a statistic has been done, but I imagine we all probably spend less time with the Saviour at Christmastime than any other time of the year. Isn't that ironic since Christmas is about Jesus coming to spend time with us! Oh I'm sure we put up our nativity scenes and stars and whatnot that symbolize Christmas, but do we spend that quiet time with Him? I think my waking up early is God's way of saying, "Sheila, I know you aren't going to put aside any other time today for me, so NOW is the time". I'm thankful He does, or I would miss it. I would miss the whole "meaning of Christmas". I'm thankful that He knows me well enough to do that for me. As I said before, it is not easy for me to crawl out my warm bed, I usually have a bit of a dialogue going, such as "Oh its too early, or I could sleep a couple of more hours, or I got to bed late last night" etc. To enter into the darkness of the early morning is hard as well. But, as soon as the tree is lit, the cold and darkness immediately melt away and I have that sense of awe and wonder. It is reminiscent of the first light that came into our world at the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." (Isaiah 9:2)
Sheila is the best thing that ever happened to Grant (outside of Jesus)!